He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize