Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize