i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
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Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
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You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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