i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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