The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize