Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize