It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize