i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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