How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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