did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize