At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I could fuck to npr.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize