whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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