sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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