Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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