I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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