I need help removing her.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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