Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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