I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize