the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
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fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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