So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
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Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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