Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize