Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize