What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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