ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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