Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize