Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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