I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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