But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
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my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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