You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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