Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize