operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize