My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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