you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I party with great urgency now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize