I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
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Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
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The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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