i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize