I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize