There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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