i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because Iโm single and itโs valentines Day...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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