So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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