I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
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I just found puke in my bra..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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