What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize