I don't usually arrange sex via text message
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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