I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
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Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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