Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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