That's when you crack a 10am beer
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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