am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize