Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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