ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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