Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize