But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
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And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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