i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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